Night Markets and ........
After our delightful Thai massage and Scott’s Swedish near encounter massage (He felt it got a bit personal) we met for an afternoon drink on the balcony to plan the rest of of our trip. (This consisted of me planning everything and explaining in great detail what our options were—over and over again—for money—and still having the two boys question what were we going to do next!)
We left for one of the night markets-the Suan Lum Night Bazaar. We cruised the stalls and ate at the German Beer garden while listening to a Thai band sing, “Achy Breaky Heart.” It was pretty surreal-especially when they pronounced “achy” as “a-chee.” I thought Steve was going to do a spit take with his beer! Scott and I got henna tattoos-he got a lizard and I trumped him by getting it’s bigger and more majestic cousin, a dragon.
After that we went to PadPong—the seedy night market. I will warn you right now if buying counterfeit goods and seeing hoochie shows will upset you…DO NOT READ FURTHER!!!!
Ok, you pervert. You kept reading. Fine by me. Mom, if you are still reading, just know I am A) only reporting the facts, ma’am and B) thoroughly enjoying the fact that you reading the dirty stuff! As soon as we alit from our near death experience of a cab ride—I swear the driver was giggling maniacally as he came to a screeching halt, missing the car forcing it’s way in front of us by mere inches—we were accosted by people trying to get us to go to the sex shows. They had placards written in English that named all the different acts performed at their club. I got the biggest kick just knowing as we walked they were constantly approaching Steve and Scott. Especially Scott-he was so flustered he started telling people he was mute and then covering his mouth. (Think about it-it’s funny.)
After passing several knock off watch stalls we finally stopped and took a closer look. They had all the big name brands with pictures from catalogs for comparison. Anyone that knows Scott knows he has pestered Steve so much about his Rolex that Steve has officially willed it to him upon his untimely demise. Well, I am now able to say while forcing back a giggle, that Scott is the proud owner of a Rolex. Not just any Rolex, the exact same kind of Rolex Steve has. It is a genuine Bangkok fake Rolex!
So newly tattooed and designered watched, Scott finally acquiesced to the constant pestering to see a sex show. Naturally, we had to accompany him in to make sure he didn’t try to take one of the girls home to America with to set up house. We followed this guy who brought us to the door of The Pink Palace. We marched up stairs, paid 200 Baht a piece ( $6.00) for a drink ticket and were led into the show. It was dark and seedy. There were 3 girls dancing—two were back-up gyrators—rather lackadaisical at that.
They all had on the same kind of bikini top and gold lame’ hot pants. The ”lead” girl had her shorts off and was dancing much in the same manner a young kid dances the potty dance. Then she inserted tongs of some sort into her hoochie and proceded to manipulate them and pick up plastic rings, pick them up and place them one by one on the neck of a coke bottle! As we drank our beer we watched as the lead girls switched in and out. We saw: hoochies opening up standard non-twist bottles of soda water; hoochies expelling long strings of razor blades, needles, glow in the dark flowers, and bells; shooting darts at a balloon held by a volunteer across the room; playing a whistle and producing ping pong balls and dropping them daintily into a cup of water. All this took place in less than hour. While Steve maintained his composure and managed to even look nonchalant, Scott and I were covering our mouth and eyes in horror as some the stuff emerged from the girls’ hoochies. Apparently we (Scott and I) were enough of show that a group of three couples were laughing and pointing at us! (I swear one of them was Mel Gibson-really!)
We left and tried to get a cab back to the hotel. One thing we have learned on this trip—it is always more expensive (by double) to return to the hotel. Steve’s theory is as soon we mention the name of our hotel the doolar, er Baht signs shine in the driver’s eyes and the price goes up. We ended up getting out of one cab because he wanted to charge us 200 Baht for an 80 Baht trip. (The other thing we have learned is the meters apparently “don’t work” at night…hmmmmm.) Finally we hooked up with a tuk tuk driver (it is like a motorized open surrey) who would take us back for 100B. I think the look on the doormens’ faces when we pulled up in this rickety old thing was priceless. There isn’t even a door for them to open to help us out. It was pretty funny!
Anyway…another night in Bangkok is over!
We left for one of the night markets-the Suan Lum Night Bazaar. We cruised the stalls and ate at the German Beer garden while listening to a Thai band sing, “Achy Breaky Heart.” It was pretty surreal-especially when they pronounced “achy” as “a-chee.” I thought Steve was going to do a spit take with his beer! Scott and I got henna tattoos-he got a lizard and I trumped him by getting it’s bigger and more majestic cousin, a dragon.
After that we went to PadPong—the seedy night market. I will warn you right now if buying counterfeit goods and seeing hoochie shows will upset you…DO NOT READ FURTHER!!!!
Ok, you pervert. You kept reading. Fine by me. Mom, if you are still reading, just know I am A) only reporting the facts, ma’am and B) thoroughly enjoying the fact that you reading the dirty stuff! As soon as we alit from our near death experience of a cab ride—I swear the driver was giggling maniacally as he came to a screeching halt, missing the car forcing it’s way in front of us by mere inches—we were accosted by people trying to get us to go to the sex shows. They had placards written in English that named all the different acts performed at their club. I got the biggest kick just knowing as we walked they were constantly approaching Steve and Scott. Especially Scott-he was so flustered he started telling people he was mute and then covering his mouth. (Think about it-it’s funny.)
After passing several knock off watch stalls we finally stopped and took a closer look. They had all the big name brands with pictures from catalogs for comparison. Anyone that knows Scott knows he has pestered Steve so much about his Rolex that Steve has officially willed it to him upon his untimely demise. Well, I am now able to say while forcing back a giggle, that Scott is the proud owner of a Rolex. Not just any Rolex, the exact same kind of Rolex Steve has. It is a genuine Bangkok fake Rolex!
So newly tattooed and designered watched, Scott finally acquiesced to the constant pestering to see a sex show. Naturally, we had to accompany him in to make sure he didn’t try to take one of the girls home to America with to set up house. We followed this guy who brought us to the door of The Pink Palace. We marched up stairs, paid 200 Baht a piece ( $6.00) for a drink ticket and were led into the show. It was dark and seedy. There were 3 girls dancing—two were back-up gyrators—rather lackadaisical at that.
They all had on the same kind of bikini top and gold lame’ hot pants. The ”lead” girl had her shorts off and was dancing much in the same manner a young kid dances the potty dance. Then she inserted tongs of some sort into her hoochie and proceded to manipulate them and pick up plastic rings, pick them up and place them one by one on the neck of a coke bottle! As we drank our beer we watched as the lead girls switched in and out. We saw: hoochies opening up standard non-twist bottles of soda water; hoochies expelling long strings of razor blades, needles, glow in the dark flowers, and bells; shooting darts at a balloon held by a volunteer across the room; playing a whistle and producing ping pong balls and dropping them daintily into a cup of water. All this took place in less than hour. While Steve maintained his composure and managed to even look nonchalant, Scott and I were covering our mouth and eyes in horror as some the stuff emerged from the girls’ hoochies. Apparently we (Scott and I) were enough of show that a group of three couples were laughing and pointing at us! (I swear one of them was Mel Gibson-really!)
We left and tried to get a cab back to the hotel. One thing we have learned on this trip—it is always more expensive (by double) to return to the hotel. Steve’s theory is as soon we mention the name of our hotel the doolar, er Baht signs shine in the driver’s eyes and the price goes up. We ended up getting out of one cab because he wanted to charge us 200 Baht for an 80 Baht trip. (The other thing we have learned is the meters apparently “don’t work” at night…hmmmmm.) Finally we hooked up with a tuk tuk driver (it is like a motorized open surrey) who would take us back for 100B. I think the look on the doormens’ faces when we pulled up in this rickety old thing was priceless. There isn’t even a door for them to open to help us out. It was pretty funny!
Anyway…another night in Bangkok is over!
posted by Little Gurrl Blue at 12:54 PM
1 Comments:
Can I forward this blog entry to Scott's parents?
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